Shred Head Crew

Day 3: When we woke up Monday morning we realized that we had yet to do two very important things in Chicago: Eat some deep dish pizza, and eat a Chicago hotdog. We ventured off into the city prior to heading to St. Louis to track some down. After 90 mins of driving up and down Lake Shore Drive searching for a street vendor or a legit pizza joint we found this very cool, hidden gem, off-the-beaten-path pizzeria. Pizzeria Uno.

Actually, we couldn’t even find an Uno so we gave up (very distraught…) and headed out with empty stomaches. We ended up having breakfast at Cracker Barrel…

To be honest, the drive to St. Louis sucks, I-70 is dead straight with nothing to look at.  The only thing worth mentioning are the dozens of adult boutiques that line the sides of the highway.  We’re not sure what an ‘Interactive Erotic Video Game’ consists of, but it sure sounds like video games have a changed a bit from our old SNES…  In the interest of everyone’s sanity, we’ll fast forward to arriving in St. Louis and meeting up with a St. Lunatic, Ms. Esme.

Other than the sex superstores, this Colt 45 ad was the best part of Day 3’s drive.  For those of you not familiar with the “It Works Every Time” campaign, wise up.

So, St. Louis.  We arrived at Esme’s and were immediately greeted by an awesome dinner.  Young ‘Me can cook, and she didn’t disapoint.  Da Bomb tacos with home made pico de gallo (which, it turns out is pronounced ‘gayo’), guac, and all the fixings.  It was super sweet.  We pitched our tent in the yard to dry it out from the rain in Ohio, caught a movie, relaxed, and played with her glock (would have come in handy in Ohio…).  After sweet dreams in some very, very, very comfortable beds we headed west to Kansas City.

In case you missed the memo… It was becoming clear we had entered the heartland.

Day 4: After the quick drive to Kansas City we met up with fellow road warrior, Tom.  He took us to a very cool BBQ joint in the ‘up and coming’ area of KC and then gave us some advice for the rest of the trip (Tom may like road trips even more than us…).

With our stomaches full, we got back on the road and headed through Kansas.  Destination: Unknown.  Kansas is a very big, very flat, very desolate place.  Thus, it was easy to get road weary behind the wheel.  Whenever we got tired we’d stop for a drink and a scratch ticket and wake ourselves up.

Nothing keeps you fresh like 44oz of Diet Dew.

For those who have never driven through Kansas, allow me to save you the trouble.  You will drive straight for 45 miles.  You will slowdown and drive through a very small town.  There will be a grain elevator next to the railroad tracks.  There will be a few buildings, most of them will be boarded up and abandoned.  There may be a gas station.  You will not see another person.  Drive another 45 miles and repeat.  It’s a lot like the movie Groundhog Day.

The Flint Hills of Kansas.  Renowned for their grass.  Very exciting stuff…

Finally, late that night we pulled into Dodge City.  We’d heard rumors that Dodge was home to a killer karaoke scene, so we’d practiced our singing and picked out our set lists during the last couple hours of the drive.  I was going to kick things off with a somber rendition of “When the World Stopped Turning” and Sammy was planning on belting on “From This Moment.” Unfortunately, the Karaoke scene was complete BS so we had to settle for singing each other to sleep.

Lucikly, we found a beautiful motel and for $32 had ourselves a little holiday.

Up next: Taos, Grand Canyon, Joshua Tree, and San Diego…  Stay tuned.

Tags: Excellent Adventure

This entry was posted on Monday, August 10th, 2009 at 12:26 pm and is filed under From The Road. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.