Excellent Adventure National Park Service
Day 7: We’d had a good time in Taos and both of us were starting to feel like the trip was about to get better (and the trip had been awesome so far, so you can imagine what better than awesome is like…). We’d hammered across the middle part of the country so we could enjoy ourselves once we got to the SW and we were ready to reap the fruits of our labor (does that make sense?). We had big plans for today, as we wanted to get the Grand Canyon before sunset.
Before we pulled out of Taos we zipped up to the mountain to check it out. Everything you’ve ever heard about Taos is likely true. It’s steep. And it’s rocky. If they get any snow this winter we’ll definitely make a voyage back to shred it up.
And yes, we do realize this is a horrible picture.
So, back on the road we headed towards the Grand Canyon. Instead of taking the fastest route possible we decided to do some backcountry driving; it was going to be a haul but we decided it was worth it. The first thing of note we passed was the Rio Grande (for those readers who don’t speak Spanish, it translates roughly to “Big River”). Being waspy bluebloods from New England, we don’t see a lot of Canyons. Needless to say we were quite excited by this.
Walking across the bridge (which shakes every time a car passes) results in what Sammy eloquently refers to as a “slight tightening of the nether region.” After spitting off the bridge a few dozen times and repeatedly saying “Where’s Roner?!” we continued on into the desert.
I won’t lie to you (I would never do that), driving across New Mexico and Arizona is a very cool experience and I’d recommend it to anyone looking to experience that part of the country. Here’s the thing, pictures of the desert in New Mexico and Arizona are really, really, boring (something I’m just realizing now). For example:
Now, at the time this picture was taken we obviously thought there was something cool going on that we wanted to capture for the rest of our lives. What exactly that was is escaping me…
Anyways, as we continued to drive we were quite surprised to see this:
You see, we’d poured over the map in Taos and we knew, I mean, we really knew, we weren’t supposed to go into Colorado. It turns out we were right, the road we wanted to take mysteriously veered off in the other direction about 15 miles before this sign. Now normally we would have caught it (you know, with our carrier-pigeon like sense of direction) but because the road wasn’t marked, paved, or on the GPS, we’d driven right past it. It just goes to show that truly everyone makes mistakes. Anyways, this sign saved us from an unplanned stop in Boulder. Thank you, sign. Thank you very much.
Finally we made it into Arizona and onto one of the country’s largest Indian Reservations. With the exception of the senile grandmother who tried to make a break for it in the Subway Restaurant we stopped at for dinner, nothing too exciting happened (don’t worry, Grandma was caught by her daughter). The Arizona desert proved slightly more exciting than the New Mexico desert, primarily because it looks a lot like Mars. Or, at least what I expect Mars to look like.
Finally, we were getting closer to the Grand Canyon. We had no idea what to expect (for some reason I was expecting it to be a bit like theme park). Nervous as to what the Big ‘Ol Canyon had in store for us, we wound our way up to the front gate of the park. Right about this time things really started to go our way. It all started when we got into the park for free (the Park Ranger posts are unmanned after 7:00PM, though when we arrived we weren’t sure what time it was because our phones had been switching back and forth from MST to PST for the previous 45 minutes… more on this later) and our good luck continued as we drove through the park (no traffic!). Without us realizing it the sun had already begun it’s descent. Anxious to get to a viewing spot before the lights went out completely, we zipped into the first parking lot we passed and walked towards the canyon. Now remember, we hadn’t been able to see any part of the canyon during our drive, so for all we knew we were about to go look at a big ditch. There were a few people milling about on the paths from the parking lot to the viewing station (also, good news, no sign of a theme park) but it was really quiet (like, really, really quiet). Sammy had dressed up in Axl Rose garb and I was doing my best to look like a laid-back California boy (we were hoping to meet some European coeds…) so we were catching some good looks. Suddenly, without warning, from out of nowhere…
Bam. There it was, the Grand Motherf****** Canyon. We ooohed and aaahed with the rest of the tourists and took it all in. Honestly, the Grand Canyon is very, very cool. If you have not done so, go see it. Now. What’s crazy is that there appear to not be any rules. For instance, don’t feel like viewing the canyon with the rest of the tourists? No problem, walk around the viewing post and stand on the edge (with no guardrail). Tired of looking at it from above? No problem, climb on in. Good luck getting back up. Want to slackline across it, they might just let you. Seriously, you could spend a week in the Grand Canyon and not get bored. Anyways, we continued to snap some pictures as the sun went down.
Sammy: “Challenging people’s understanding of what it means to be American…”
As it got dark we realized we didn’t know where we going to sleep. There had been a sign at the ranger station informing us that every campsite was full (we’d later find out that people reserve campsites 12 months in advance). Somewhat disappointed at the prospect of sleeping in the car for the night (especially since we’d run out of beer in Taos), we drove around looking for an alternative. A bit later, and no closer to finding a place to sleep, we stumbled upon the park grocery store. Unfortunately, it was about 40 minutes past closing time (the sign on the road read 8:00AM – 9:00PM). We pulled in anyways hoping to find an information kiosk, only to find that the store was still open. Confused, we exited the car, high-fived, chest-bumped, and did our secret brother handshake, and walked inside.
It turns out that the Grand Canyon exists in some weird time space overlap. Much like the Time Traveler’s Wife, the Grand Canyon is free to change the definition and understanding of time. I still don’t get it completely, but somehow the canyon changes time zones without actually being near another time zone… Anyways, we stocked up on snacks, beer, and water and suddenly our night of car sleeping didn’t seem so bad. We found a nice parking spot (free of creepy perverts) and settled in for a little R&R.
After a couple of beers (but not a few…) we again realized that sleeping in our dirty, cramped, fully-packed car was less than desirable. Spurred on by full a moon and a sense of rebelliousness, we covertly snuck into one of the campsites, found what appeared to be an empty campsite and under the cover of darkness pitched our tent (and patched Sammy’s air mattress). Without a peep and with no lights we were in the tent, toes-up, in less than 15 minutes. At the first sound of our alarm in the AM (early…) we tore the tent down faster than we’d put it up and just like the wind, we were gone. Later that morning as we checked out the canyon one last time we overheard two rangers discussing the “two fugitives” loose in the park who had “poached a campsite” the night before.
Running from the law, we got back on the road and headed to Joshua Tree where we spent one final night under the stars…
